Star g'AJ'ing

[Disclaimer: No disrespect to any historic character, (even if it is)living or (luckily)dead]


GET THIS FACT RIGHT, Bollywood never does a good job of depicting history. True there are some good movies made on the modern period but somehow history has never been the strong point of Bollywood. I have no clue why, we always do a very bad job there. I am not surprised that Jodhaa Akbar turned out poor, the cast was enough to tell what’s about to come. Went to see vignettes from Mughal royal life!!! BUT DISAPPOINTED!!!


MY BIGGEST WORRY IS. Why can’t Bollywood get over this guy-loves-girl center plot. Gowarikar had the opportunity to make a great movie by taking the Jodha part out and instead portraying the life and reign of perhaps the most powerful man in Medieval Indian History. He totally called it wrong. I had faith in him after massive hit=LAGAAN and moderate SWADES!! Now it looks he is getting back to his OLD SELF of Stupid BAAZI and PEHLA NASHA days!! Here he has attempted a school drama with a STUPENDOUS BUDGET!!!

I am afraid...RONNIE SCREWALA, Producer..... might really get SCREWED!! Anyways its gonna be part of the history too... lol

Because, I JUST DONT WANNA SAY "But for Indian standards, it was good". By saying that you submit to the fact that we are capable of making only average movies. We are like that only. No no no. At this day and age, we do not have any disadvantage. So, lets not make any excuses. You have the best TECHINCIANS and FACILITIES.. Its a bit a of research and Preparation in terms of WHAT AUDIENCE expects from you, that you have work on!!!....

The MOVIE is well made on some parts... ON THE WHOLE it LACKS SUBSTANCE. I had only QUESTIONS( stupid they may seem) during this LONGEST EPIC..:(

why does the Empress of India always sit on bare floors whether in the dining hall/bedroom/wherever? where the hell are those famed Persian rugs? why not even plastic chairs in the Emperor of India’s courts? why are all conspiracy (security/familial) issues discussed in diwan-e-aam? why does the Emperor negotiate with a rebel in a way that reminds you of Indian PMO? why so many stray people in the Emperor’s bedroom? why does no royal go to sleep in comfortable nightwear?And How the hell do you see a pile of potatoes in the royal kitchen. I thought potatoes came in India during Jehangir’s time and not before. But then, it was not meant to be a history lesson, but pure entertainment...

Some good performance here n there!! Powerful Hrithik to Plastic Ash (O boy, what was she doing in dat white Ninja get up!!??? "Tere Salwar Mein Mera Talwar" kind of scene" "elephant taming...:P" And some gorgeous cinematography eg: when akbar return to amer fort. The battle scene doesnt attract much.. Rather I will see TROY again.... But some Urdu lines were great ( I hope I understood some atleast:D)

Ila arun is superb, Shotgun sinha's wife can't act... HEMU looked straight out from Bhojpuri flick sets...

TWO WORDS ABOUT MUSIC::
AR REHMAN Disappointed!!! One good track was "KHWAJA MERE KHWAJA".. Alas, this was killed by Ashu's picturization Cos Akbar actually joins the dancers!! :( All I had was POPCORN in my hands " Popcorn khaaja re khaaja" i the mind...:(

Rehman could have made it interesting by adding two songs from my choice...
When an angry Jodhaa drops a purdah in front of Akbar, HE SHOULD HAVE RATHER SUNG "Purdah nashin ko be-purdaah na kar doon to, Akbar mera naam nahin hain"??????? ..

And as my friend pointed out the theme of the whole movie was about AKBAR the great getting LAID.... Rehman could have used "WOULD U GONNA BED WID ME???" ... but thank god AR never lifts any tunes for free!!...

And thanks again for introducing that new voice of Javed ali in "IN LAMHON"..... He surely may REPLACE SONU NIGAM Soon...:D
BUT LUCKILY WE SHOULD THANK ASHU FOR NOT SIGNING HIMESH RESHAMMIYA THE GREAT!!! for doing music... He would have had his FAMOUS QAWWALI with lovely lyrics "I love you O Sayyoni...... Koi shaq?"!!!! AKBAR Would have got RID of Faizi/TANSEN etc and placed this fellow in his COURT ( naah, not HAREM :P) for ever!!!

And This movie is noway closer to K.Asif's "Mugal-E-Azam"... it can only be claimed "PAAGAL-E-AZAM!!" which ends up giving Bahadur shah zafar's ending to the great Akbar through this movie... :D

It looks like Hrithik wanted this film desperately... Among SHEHENSHAH/BAADSHAH war of the Bollywood stars for the No.1 position, he has calmed down himslef by calling AZEEM-o-SHAAN SHEHENSHAAH==AKBAR tHE GREAT"..... Khud ka naam ROSHAN jo karna tha!!!!

Anyways where are the war veterans like JP.DUTTA saab??? what if Panipat is over??? there is more still... battle of runnthambore, ruckus tangadi....And heroes like LANGDA TAIMUR..... Come right ON!!! you can do it....:DDDD

rating: **