Star g'AJ'ing

NOT A REVIEW : U wont find the story line….Just a few inconsequential and a few witty remarks and puns …. “Saawariya” was assault of the senses…. Bas aur kuch nahi..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHO DOSTOEVSKY…??? I don’t know him… And I donno why sanjay chose this as well… “short story about loneliness and longing”..oh my god… how true, I was so lonely and longing for this movie to end…somehow… I keep saying I am YAWN…. BORING….. But trust me, I will change that…. Sanjay SHOULD put this henceforth… ‘I am a director in the class of Satyajit Ray, Bimal Roy’ pretenders get my goat every time… And I find another work of Mr.Dostovesky titled..”THE IDIOT”… is it a pure coincidence that I chose to call SANJAY the same for making this utterly boring movie..????

Sometime back there was some research in one of UK universities, where one guy tried to PUT some people into sleep with their eyes open, LOUD music and flashy lights.. I donno if he got success in his research BUT SANJAY MANAGED this very well.. I saw people going out … I got my sleep in between as well… ( I am not the kind who walks out of a movie hall, paise maine bhare hain yaar…:O) And you thought I sat through this rubbish for your sake!?!I would be jesus christ of the blog-world. And I need highest civilian award Some SHAURYA CHAKRA atleast for going thru this hrs of pain…:P)

There is nothing In the movie.. NOT EVEN A SINGLE MOMENT OF BLISS… period… Sure he gives us plenty of shots of gondolas awash in blue-green light,…. The movie is totally a dream sequence… all BLUE lights here n there… So its Sanjay’s first eva BLUE FILM Making him SANJAY "NEELA" BHANSALI…. Sometime back he directed BLACK..then I had named him SANJAY "KAALA" BHANSALI… Now what next…? Peela.. :(( Now the worst nightmare is that, I heard he is shooting Bajirao wid Ash-Abhi… OHHH GODDDD NOOOOOOO….. Man, even the idea sounds blasphemous…

He was GENTLEST director, who used to make his women GIGGLE, run madly all over the set, flash/flutter eyelids,…hysterical outbursts, and other histrionics, silly games of SHOOT kinds ( HDDCS) etc…. Ok, so far so good… But whats with Bath towel fantasy song of the male protagonist…??? “jab se tere naina “’ Ohh gawddd…. The same day OSO was releasing and SR”Gay” had 6 packs to show.. Bhansali wanted to make a better debut for Ranbir… he managed to show “2 EXTRA PACKS on the BACK”.. :P

Just one thought crossed my mind… He shouldn’t have ALREADY done That SONG for hum dil DCS….”kaaacha kaaacha …nimbooooda laaye do” would have been better suited here… :D.. BUTTT what a debut, this Ranbir guy got… even salman/hrithik/shahid didn’t do all this much of SKIN show at all… :)) (Even RAJ KAPOOR Who had shown his women so SENSUOUSLY with artistic oomph, must NOT have thought (fohget Lolo/Bebo) his khaandani puttar has to show SKIN like this.. ;O

No Tribute, nothing… Bhansali has just shown his LOYALTY to KAPOOR’s of film industry. Though Sonam has nice screen presence, she should be thankful that ANY TRACES OF ANIL KAPOOR is not there on her back ( I had written about “Baal ki dukaan” Sanjay and Anil kapoor earlier and sonam gives enough glimpses of her back) :P.. so this leggie lass can carry those low back cholis an long lehengas while running around the sets… Salman… the guy appears for hardly 10 minutes… and then goes in hibernation .. SAKINA keeps waiting for him till the end.. I think Salman was TOO BUSY ATTENDING COURTS and JAILS…lol.

Rani… well she is brilliant… But ..ENOUGH maan… “Trying the same thing again and again, And expecting different results is INSANITY”… Its her third film in a row as a PROSTITUTE… gosh, “The Rising. Laaga chunari mein Dhaag…and now this” HAT-TRICK…..nevertheles, she does justice…

Sanjay may say “It is an abstract piece of art!! Use of colours and sounds to denote the emotions in the movie. It is unreal but that was what it was supposed to be, an timeless and spaceless tale.” Etc.. etc… But sorry boss, I don’t think so, Audience don’t think so, critics have slammed the movie.. Only people WHO MUST HAVE PRAISED this COULD be Insomniac lot… alas….. I hope SONY recovers some of its money.. Monty’s Music may help it a bit…. But still its is pale compared to compositions of Ismail Durbar… Samiir’s lyrics are so predictable,neways… deewana/begaana/naaina/rab etc etc ..He only recycles these words , :P

Khamoshi was a better movie of this Vidhu Vinod chopra assistant…. He started selling dreams later on (but movie making skills only degenerated). Inspite of allegations like DIRECTOR OF CLASS/HUMAN EMOTION PORTRAYALs etc. etc he is mere an ART director..he feels to make crafty or arty cinema one has to become an ‘art director’ and has been designing his landscapes, huge buildings and color co-ordinated sets.. In this attempt the SORROW of Devdas will be missing and he killed Devdas to its core by his megalomaniac ideas. Hum dil de was OK..Ok cos I have fond memories of that movie and music. :P Simply put, overt melodrama, really bawdy sets etc. were at check before Sanjay came into movies, I must say… Same for Black as well. Excpet for some remarkable performances the movie was dull… But if I say this I will be castigated as a demon (How can you not like Black!, You are an insensitive monster)

Anyways to wrap it up… We should understand and agree that “our filmmaking skills are pathetic. Films are being made as an ego and money boosting exercises.” So, its our choice is to which movie to watch and which one lot… I stand by my 3.5 ratings for OSO after watching Saawariya.. :P atleast Farah says “all you can expect is a MASALA movie, unlike Sanjay’s “artistic senstivities of the Indian audience is taken care of” MY FOOT…. “BOSSSSSSS REFUNDDDDDDD X-(“

My Ra(n)tings *(1/2)